var blogs = new Array();
blogs[106] = new Array(2);
blogs[106][0] = "3.20.2008";
blogs[106][1] = "Note to the person who controls the music at my gym: I can't work out to Tracy Chapman.";
blogs[105] = new Array(2);
blogs[105][0] = "1.18.2008";
blogs[105][1] = "This is a <a href=http://www.sheffieldtelegraph.co.uk/news/Kids-frightened-by-hospital-clowns.3679134.jp>news story</a>?  Really?";
blogs[104] = new Array(2);
blogs[104][0] = "1.14.2008";
blogs[104][1] = "I refuse to believe that Tyler Perry took <a href=http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080114/ap_en_mu/steroid_raid target=new>performance enhancing drugs</a>.  Because I've seen his acting.";
blogs[103] = new Array(2);
blogs[103][0] = "12.22.2007";
blogs[103][1] = "I live within a mile of three unrelated restaurants named Lala's, Lola's, and Lulu's.<br><br>LOL.";
blogs[102] = new Array(2);
blogs[102][0] = "12.21.2007";
blogs[102][1] = "There are only two U.S. <a href=http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/12/21/america/NA-GEN-US-Obit-J.-Russell-Coffey.php target=new>World War I veterans</a> left, and one <a href=http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/11/08/europe/EU-GEN-Obit-Britain-Titanic-Survivor.php target=new>Titanic survivor</a>.  Can we make them fight each other or something?  I'm bored.";
blogs[101] = new Array(2);
blogs[101][0] = "12.17.2007";
blogs[101][1] = "There are plenty of fun ways to get herpes.  Getting it from the mouth of the old Jewish man who's <a href=http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/26/nyregion/26circumcise.html target=new>circumcising you</a> probably isn't one of them. (hat tip to Joe G!)";
blogs[100] = new Array(2);
blogs[100][0] = "12.10.2007";
blogs[100][1] = "Lots of airlines are introducing <a href=http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20071210/ap_tr_ge/travel_trend_airline_beds target=new>real beds</a> for passengers in business class.  Meanwhile American Airlines has started charging the rest of us <a href=http://www.bloggingstocks.com/2007/10/30/a-cliff-bar-and-a-vitamin-water-6-on-american-airlines/>$3 for a bottle of water</a>.<br><br>How about, I don't know, getting me where I want to go on time?  Okay?  Because I'd pay for that.";
blogs[99] = new Array(2);
blogs[99][0] = "11.26.2007";
blogs[99][1] = "Doctors have detected that Dick Cheney has an <a href=http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2007/11/26/cheney-to-receive-treatment-for-irregular-heartbeat/ target=new>irregular heartbeat</a>.  It's especially irregular because Dick Cheney has no detectable heart.";
blogs[98] = new Array(2);
blogs[98][0] = "11.22.2007";
blogs[98][1] = "Some people choose to cook their Thanksgiving stuffing inside the hollowed-out carcass of a large headless bird.<br><br>Call me crazy, but I'm going with a casserole dish.";
blogs[97] = new Array(2);
blogs[97][0] = "11.14.2007";
blogs[97][1] = "Why is everyone so shocked that products from China contain random, nasty stuff like <a href=http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/071025/discount_stores_recalls.html target=new>lead</a>, <a href=http://www.streetinsider.com/Press+Releases/News+From+USW:+Kids'%3B+Bracelet+Contains+Extremely+Toxic+Cadmium/3118477.html target=new>cadmium</a>, <a href=http://www.injuryboard.com/national-news/aqua-dots-flying-off-store-shelves.aspx?googleid=28376 target=new>date rape drugs</a>, and <a href=http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/petfood.html target=new>poison</a>?  Have these people never seen the inside of a spring roll?";
blogs[96] = new Array(2);
blogs[96][0] = "11.8.2007";
blogs[96][1] = "<a href=http://sports.yahoo.com/sow/news?slug=ap-pele-beckham target=new>Words of wisdom</a> from Pele:<br><br>\"It is not easy to play in American soccer, because it is very tough.\"<br><br>Brilliant.";
blogs[95] = new Array(2);
blogs[95][0] = "10.10.2007";
blogs[95][1] = "There's something seriously wrong with the entertainment industry when you can get the new <a href=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/arts/main.jhtml?xml=/arts/2007/10/10/nradiohead210.xml target=new>Radiohead album</a> for free, but tickets to <a href=http://www.kansascity.com/414/story/310401.html target=new>Hannah Montana</a> cost $4,572.";
blogs[94] = new Array(2);
blogs[94][0] = "9.28.2007";
blogs[94][1] = "Hey obese man at the coffeeshop wearing camouflage pants.  Guess what?  All of us can see you.";
blogs[93] = new Array(2);
blogs[93][0] = "9.27.2007";
blogs[93][1] = "The other day I saw a man on the bus using an iPhone.  This guy has made some interesting choices.";
blogs[92] = new Array(2);
blogs[92][0] = "9.23.2007";
blogs[92][1] = "I'm guessing <a href=http://digg.com/world_news/Marcel_Marceau_Acclaimed_Mime_Is_Dead_at_84_R_I_P target=new>this</a> is the world's first and last obituary headline containing the phrase \"acclaimed mime.\"";
blogs[91] = new Array(2);
blogs[91][0] = "9.19.2007";
blogs[91][1] = "\"Earlier in the day, <a href=http://omg.yahoo.com/court-lays-down-the-law;-britney-goes-clubbing/news/2564 target=new>Britney</a> snacked her way through Malibu, running errands. Following a stop to get new glasses, she had an ice cream cone, then a red bull. She appeared to follow up those goodies by sucking on a kids pacifier.\"<br><br>Oh hey, also in the news today: WE'RE LOSING TWO WARS.";
blogs[90] = new Array(2);
blogs[90][0] = "9.16.2007";
blogs[90][1] = "The folks at CVS have started promoting a new holiday in their greeting card section.  It's called \"Sweetest Day.\"  October 20th.  Because apparently we needed another candy-focused holiday in late October.";
blogs[89] = new Array(2);
blogs[89][0] = "9.12.2007";
blogs[89][1] = "In Philip, South Dakota there is a house made out of sod.  Admission is $5.<br><br>In Mitchell, South Dakota there is a gymnasium covered in corn.  Admission is free.<br><br>Sadly, they are both overpriced.";
blogs[88] = new Array(2);
blogs[88][0] = "3.6.2007";
blogs[88][1] = "NPR has a reporter named <a href=http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6937709 target=new>Libby Lewis</a> covering the Lewis Libby trial.  Seriously.";
blogs[87] = new Array(2);
blogs[87][0] = "3.5.2007";
blogs[87][1] = "Here's a political joke for you.<br><br>Everyone is saying how this is the most diverse field of Democratic presidential candidates ever.  I mean, you've got a female pro-war senator from New York, a half-black anti-war senator from Illinois, and a southern pro-war-turned-anti-war populist who may or may not be gay.<br><br><i>And that's just Hillary Clinton!</i>";
blogs[86] = new Array(2);
blogs[86][0] = "1.26.2007";
blogs[86][1] = "Yesterday I saw a Mercedes commercial which claimed that the car's stylish design could \"stop traffic.\"  Wouldn't this be the absolute <i>last</i> quality you'd want in the car you're driving?";
blogs[85] = new Array(2);
blogs[85][0] = "1.3.2007";
blogs[85][1] = "North Korea spends <a href=http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0103/p01s04-woap.html target=new>40% of its budget</a> on deification of the Kim family.  40 PERCENT!  That's ridiculous!<br><br>Then again, there's like a billion Kims over there.";
blogs[84] = new Array(2);
blogs[84][0] = "1.2.2007";
blogs[84][1] = "I was in an internet cafe today.  Around 4pm, a woman walked in and asked someone behind the counter, \"Excuse me, do you know if there are any internet cafes around here?\"<br><br>2007 is going to be great.";
blogs[83] = new Array(2);
blogs[83][0] = "12.26.2006";
blogs[83][1] = "It sure did seem like odd timing when James Brown died on Christmas day.<br><br>And then Gerald Ford died on the first day of Kwanzaa.<br><br>Maybe there was a mix-up.";
blogs[82] = new Array(2);
blogs[82][0] = "12.12.2006";
blogs[82][1] = "I think people should stop using the clich&eacute; \"slow and steady wins the race.\"  Nobody has ever won a race by being slow.  Fast wins races.  That's why it's called a race.  Because you're supposed to race.";   
blogs[81] = new Array(2);
blogs[81][0] = "12.10.2006";
blogs[81][1] = "It's hard to imagine a much better headline to wake up to than <a href=http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-12-10-nicolas-cage_x.htm?csp=34 target=new>\"Nicolas Cage Plans to Cut Back on Acting.\"</a>";
blogs[80] = new Array(2);
blogs[80][0] = "12.3.2006";
blogs[80][1] = "I bet one of the best things about being homeless is never needing to know what time it is.<br><br>The worst thing is probably having to live on the sidewalk.";
blogs[79] = new Array(2);
blogs[79][0] = "12.2.2006";
blogs[79][1] = "Lately I am getting a lot of spam posing as other spam.  This is annoying twice.  If an email claims to be about penis enlargement, that email had better be about penis enlargement.  If I open it up and find out that it's about a stock tip, I'm going to be pretty mad.  And so is my penis.";
blogs[78] = new Array(2);
blogs[78][0] = "11.29.2006";
blogs[78][1] = "I think America should definitely ban burqas.  Not the articles of clothing, but the word.  Where I come from, every \"q\" is followed by a \"u.\"  Sorry if that's too strict for you, Muslims.";
blogs[77] = new Array(2);
blogs[77][0] = "11.16.2006";
blogs[77][1] = "Say what you want about Michael Jackson -- the man has one <a href=http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/michael_jackson/index.html target=new>silky head of hair</a>.";
blogs[76] = new Array(2);
blogs[76][0] = "10.24.2006";
blogs[76][1] = "Hey -- Lil' Kim, Lil' Romeo, Lil' Wayne, Lil' Bow Wow, Lil' Flip, Lil' Jon, Lil' Tone, and Lil' Scrappy -- let's be a lil' more original.";
blogs[75] = new Array(2);
blogs[75][0] = "10.9.2006";
blogs[75][1] = "One of the best days of my life was when I realized there was no good reason to keep folding my underwear.  It's thrilling to think how many hours I've saved.";
blogs[74] = new Array(2);
blogs[74][0] = "9.25.2006";
blogs[74][1] = "What is it with girls walking around wearing these gigantic sunglasses, a.k.a. \"stunna shades?\"  There's only two reasons you would need to wear sunglasses this large: 1) you're a celebrity and don't want to be recognized, or 2) you're ugly and don't want people to know it.  Well guess what?  You're not a celebrity.";
blogs[73] = new Array(2);
blogs[73][0] = "9.19.2006";
blogs[73][1] = "If you're going to name a product <a href=http://www.fantastik.com target=_new>Fantastik</a>, it had better be pretty freakin' amazing.  And in this case, it really is.";
blogs[72] = new Array(2);
blogs[72][0] = "9.13.2006";
blogs[72][1] = "A friend of mine recently gave me a boomerang.  I've decided not to throw it.  I figure I've got a 99% chance of being disappointed, and a 1% chance of being decapitated.  No thanks.";  
blogs[71] = new Array(2);
blogs[71][0] = "9.11.2006";
blogs[71][1] = "Yes, we get it.  September 11th sucked.  Does that mean <i>every</i> September 11th has to suck?";
blogs[70] = new Array(2);
blogs[70][0] = "9.8.2006";
blogs[70][1] = "If you're on the verge of extinction, and you can only get pregnant during one 3-day period each year, and you have to spend 14 hours a day eating or you'll die, and your children have almost zero chance of survival, especially when you <a href=http://en.ce.cn/National/Local/200609/09/t20060909_8485806.shtml target=_new>fall asleep and crush them</a> -- well then, I hate to say this, panda bear, but guess what?  You <i>suck</i>.";
blogs[69] = new Array(2);
blogs[69][0] = "9.7.2006";
blogs[69][1] = "At the little gas station convenience store down the street, they already have Halloween costumes on display.<br><br>If you're the kind of person who buys a Halloween costume 8 weeks early, maybe it's time to do some soul-searching.  If you're the kind of person who buys a Halloween costume 8 weeks early <i>at a gas station</i>, it's probably too late.";
blogs[68] = new Array(2);
blogs[68][0] = "9.4.2006";
blogs[68][1] = "My Russian neighbors are so stupid.  Every night when their dog starts barking, they respond by shouting \"Nyet!  Nyet!\"  Like somehow their dog's gonna magically understand Russian.";
blogs[67] = new Array(2);
blogs[67][0] = "8.31.2006";
blogs[67][1] = "If you've been blessed with a name like \"<a href=http://www.ontheissues.org/senate/Dick_Mountjoy.htm target=_new>Dick Mountjoy</a>,\" maybe the United States Senate isn't the most appropriate place for you.  I'm just saying."; 
blogs[66] = new Array(2);
blogs[66][0] = "8.27.2006";
blogs[66][1] = "Heinz claims to have 57 varieties of products.  I've been on this planet for 28 years.  Why can I only name one of them?";
blogs[65] = new Array(2);
blogs[65][0] = "8.23.2006";
blogs[65][1] = "I passed by a homeless man on Beverly today.  He was wearing a t-shirt that said <b>COMIC RELIEF</b>.  I pulled him aside and said, \"Yes, friend.  But you're so much <i>more</i> than that.\"";
blogs[64] = new Array(2);
blogs[64][0] = "8.22.2006";
blogs[64][1] = "Yesterday at lunch, I heard someone declare that \"<a href=http://sambazon.com target=_new>a&#231;a&#237; is the new pomegranate</a>.\"  At dinner, I was told that this was no longer accurate.<br><br>And none of these people were kidding.";
blogs[63] = new Array(2);
blogs[63][0] = "8.21.2006";
blogs[63][1] = "I just tried to spell the word \"Albuquerque,\" which is something I'm pretty sure I've never done before.<br><br>It did not go well.";
blogs[62] = new Array(2);
blogs[62][0] = "8.17.2006";
blogs[62][1] = "I don't know about you, but I've never <a href=http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/17/ramsey.arrest/index.html target=_new>accidentally</a> drugged, raped, and murdered a toddler in someone else's basement.  That's a pretty impressive accident.  My accidents are more like, \"Oops, I stubbed my toe,\" or, \"Shoot, I overslept.\"  They rarely end in murder -- and they <i>never</i> end in Thailand.";
blogs[61] = new Array(2);
blogs[61][0] = "8.16.2006";
blogs[61][1] = "Exactly when did we all start calling sweatshirts \"hoodies?\"  I don't remember agreeing to that.";
blogs[60] = new Array(2);
blogs[60][0] = "8.15.2006";
blogs[60][1] = "They were having some sort of promotion at Old Navy this weekend. I won a free bag of jelly beans.  These people make t-shirts that disintegrate in sunlight, and they think I'm gonna put their jelly beans in my body?";
blogs[59] = new Array(2);
blogs[59][0] = "8.13.2006";
blogs[59][1] = "People around here like to say strange things like \"Wednesday is the new Saturday!\"<br><br>Wednesday is the new Saturday?  No, Wednesday is still Wednesday.  You just have a drinking problem.";
blogs[58] = new Array(2);
blogs[58][0] = "8.8.2006";
blogs[58][1] = "I had kinda forgotten what it feels like to support a <a href=http://www.nedlamont.com target=_new>winning candidate</a>.  Almost makes me not entirely ashamed to be from Connecticut.";
blogs[57] = new Array(2);
blogs[57][0] = "8.3.2006";
blogs[57][1] = "Flying on AirTran is kind of like getting molested by a sibling.<br><br>It's not good.";
blogs[56] = new Array(2);
blogs[56][0] = "7.31.2006";
blogs[56][1] = "The only redeeming quality I can find in Taylor Hicks is that he can sing a song called \"Do I Make You Proud?\" without even the slightest hint of irony or self-awareness.";
blogs[55] = new Array(2);
blogs[55][0] = "7.24.2006";
blogs[55][1] = "If you ask me, <a href=http://www.ruthschris.com target=_new>Ruth's Chris Steak House</a> is the most confusingly-named American dining franchise.  Coming in a close second: <a href=http://www.carlsjr.com target=_new>Carl's Jr.</a>";
blogs[54] = new Array(2);
blogs[54][0] = "7.13.2006";
blogs[54][1] = "I don't know what Subway is putting in their <a target=_new href=http://www.subway.com/applications/menu/frmProduct.aspx?productId=4&countryCode=USA&languageCode=ENG>Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki</a> sub, but it sure ain't chicken.";
blogs[53] = new Array(2);
blogs[53][0] = "7.6.2006";
blogs[53][1] = "2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner seems like a miracle product, but it's really less than the sum of its parts.  Because shampoo is supposed to be washed out immediately, yet conditioner is supposed to be left in for several minutes.  There's no way you can win.";
blogs[52] = new Array(2);
blogs[52][0] = "7.1.2006";
blogs[52][1] = "A Cuban woman walked into the coffeeshop today, showing off her \"<a target=_new href=http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=puggle>puggle</a>.\"  This is a dwarven pug/beagle hybrid.  I suggested we consider cross-breeding the woman with a labrador.  We could call it a \"humidor.\"  Then she said something in Spanish which didn't sound too nice.";
blogs[51] = new Array(2);
blogs[51][0] = "6.30.2006";
blogs[51][1] = "I saw a Chinese man flying a kite today.  It's really satisfying when stereotypes come to life like that.";
blogs[50] = new Array(2);
blogs[50][0] = "6.13.2006";
blogs[50][1] = "\"Krakatoa\" and \"Vesuvius\" are great names for volcanoes.<br><br>Not such a great name?  \"<a target=_new href=http://www.volcanolive.com/blupblup.html>Blup Blup</a>.\"";
blogs[49] = new Array(2);
blogs[49][0] = "6.9.2006";
blogs[49][1] = "It has always bothered me that I'll never really know the weight of my own head.";
blogs[48] = new Array(2);
blogs[48][0] = "5.30.2006";
blogs[48][1] = "The California state flag has a big picture of a bear on it.  I've only lived here for about a month, but I have yet to see a single bear.<br><br>If I could re-design the California flag, it would feature three things: a Toyota Prius, a bowl of guacamole, and an anorexic girl carrying a chihuahua.";
blogs[47] = new Array(2);
blogs[47][0] = "5.30.2006";
blogs[47][1] = "I'm not sure I want to continue living in a country where people like Taylor Hicks and George Bush win elections.";
blogs[46] = new Array(2);
blogs[46][0] = "4.18.2006";
blogs[46][1] = "To me, the worst thing about inhaling secondhand smoke is knowing that it came from inside someone else's lung.";
blogs[45] = new Array(2);
blogs[45][0] = "4.7.2006";
blogs[45][1] = "Recently in New York I came across a shop called <a href=http://www.ricetoriches.com target=_new>Rice to Riches</a>.  This is, quite literally, a rice pudding bar.  It's a bar that sells rice pudding.  Seriously.  And as disturbing as that is, I think the pun itself almost qualifies as a human rice issue.";
blogs[44] = new Array(2);
blogs[44][0] = "4.6.2006";
blogs[44][1] = "I'm sure there are really people named \"<a href=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425210 target=_new>Slevin</a>\" in the world.  I just don't think I'd want to watch a movie about them.";
blogs[43] = new Array(2);
blogs[43][0] = "3.28.2006";
blogs[43][1] = "I defy you to find a major website more unappealing than <a href=http://www.about.com target=_new>About.com</a>, and/or a game show requiring less talent than <a href=http://www.nbc.com/dond target=_new>Deal Or No Deal</a>.";
blogs[42] = new Array(2);
blogs[42][0] = "3.19.2006";
blogs[42][1] = "If I were to make a list of the worst song lyrics of all time, I think \"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie -- that's amore\" would have to be at or near the top.";
blogs[41] = new Array(2);
blogs[41][0] = "3.06.2006";
blogs[41][1] = "There is no good reason for anyone, anywhere, at any time, at any stage of life, no matter how desperate or lonely or crippled or in need of attention or affection, to ever, ever, ever own a cat.";
blogs[40] = new Array(2);
blogs[40][0] = "2.22.2006";
blogs[40][1] = "Ive stopped using apostrophes.  Whos got the time anymore?";
blogs[39] = new Array(2);
blogs[39][0] = "2.8.2006";
blogs[39][1] = "Does the world need the <a href=\"http://www.gillettefusion.com\" target=\"_new\">Gillette Fusion</a>?<br>Not at all.<br><br>Will I buy one?<br>Of course.";
blogs[38] = new Array(2);
blogs[38][0] = "2.2.2006";
blogs[38][1] = "There is only one true Groundhog Day groundhog, and his name is <a href=\"http://www.groundhog.org\" target=\"_new\">Punksutawney Phil</a>.  I reject the naked opportunism and chicanery of such impostors as <a href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staten_Island_Chuck\" target=\"_new\">Staten Island Chuck</a> and <a href=\"http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/nge/Multimedia.jsp?id=m-3277\" target=\"_new\">General Beauregard Lee</a>.  They are a discredit to the larger rodentia community.";
blogs[37] = new Array(2);
blogs[37][0] = "1.23.2006";
blogs[37][1] = "I wish I hadn't read <a href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/27/nyregion/27bugs.html\" target=\"_new\">this article</a> about bed bugs.";
blogs[36] = new Array(2);
blogs[36][0] = "1.22.2006";
blogs[36][1] = "I've never understood the rationale behind pistol-whipping.  If you want to injure someone, and you have a gun in your hand, pull the trigger.  Don't beat them with it!";
blogs[35] = new Array(2);
blogs[35][0] = "1.20.2006";
blogs[35][1] = "There's something disingenuous about naming an album \"The Essential Neil Diamond.\"";
blogs[34] = new Array(2);
blogs[34][0] = "1.5.2006";
blogs[34][1] = "I just found out that I barely missed earning Amtrak Select status in 2005.  This is sort of like finding out you placed third in an ugly contest.  I'm okay with it.";
blogs[33] = new Array(2);
blogs[33][0] = "12.31.2005";
blogs[33][1] = "Considering the pandas, the penguins, the iPod nano, and Terri Schiavo, if I had to pick one word to sum up 2005 it would have to be \"adorable!\"";
blogs[32] = new Array(2);
blogs[32][0] = "12.27.2005";
blogs[32][1] = "I get Samantha Morton confused with Emily Mortimer and Emily Watson.  I also couldn't tell you the difference between a Zooey Deschanel and a Chloe Sevigny.";
blogs[31] = new Array(2);
blogs[31][0] = "12.24.2005";
blogs[31][1] = "My mailman was wearing a santa hat today.  The despair was palpable.";
blogs[30] = new Array(2);
blogs[30][0] = "12.22.2005";
blogs[30][1] = "An airplane having trouble with its landing gear is not news.  Can we all agree on that?";
blogs[29] = new Array(2);
blogs[29][0] = "12.15.2005";
blogs[29][1] = "Out of all the Kennedy's, I would say Ethel has had the worst luck.  Her parents died in a plane crash.  Her brother died in another plane crash.  Her husband (RFK) was assassinated.  Her brother-in-law (JFK) was assassinated.  Her sister-in-law (Kathleen) died in a plane crash.  Her nephew (JFK Jr.) died in a plane crash.  Her nephew Michael was convicted of murder.  Her son David died of a drug overdose.  Another son, Michael, died in a skiing accident.<br><br>I don't really have a point here.  That's just a lot of tragedy.";
blogs[28] = new Array(2);
blogs[28][0] = "12.08.2005";
blogs[28][1] = "I saw Cirque du Soleil last nite.  I don't think they should toss around little girls like that.  Not to mention dwarves.";
blogs[27] = new Array(2);
blogs[27][0] = "12.01.2005";
blogs[27][1] = "One bad thing about gentrification in New York is that the trendiest neighborhoods get the most pretentious nicknames.  First the area south of Houston became \"SoHo.\"  The Triangle Below Canal turned into \"TriBeCa.\"  Then came NoLita, and DUMBO, and now Spanish Harlem has apparently become SpaHa.  As if the outrageous cost of living weren't bad enough, it now sounds like you live in the 102nd dalmation?<br><br>As with most social ills, I blame Starbucks.";
blogs[26] = new Array(2);
blogs[26][0] = "11.29.2005";
blogs[26][1] = "A word of advice -- don't ever get yourself on a GQ mailing list.  Because you will never, ever get off it.";
blogs[25] = new Array(2);
blogs[25][0] = "11.11.2005";
blogs[25][1] = "I thought I was in love with a font once.  Turns out it wasn't my type.";
blogs[24] = new Array(2);
blogs[24][0] = "11.7.2005";
blogs[24][1] = "I think a pretty good sign that your vacation isn't going so well is when you get <a href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/africa/11/05/somalia.pirates/index.html\" target=\"_new\">attacked by pirates</a>.";
blogs[23] = new Array(2);
blogs[23][0] = "10.27.2005";
blogs[23][1] = "Roughly 100 million otherwise-edible pumpkins are carved, gutted, and discarded every Halloween.  Ironically, every year millions of witches starve to death.";
blogs[22] = new Array(2);
blogs[22][0] = "10.25.2005";
blogs[22][1] = "I think if I had been on the bus with Rosa Parks on that historic day when she refused to give up her seat, I would have felt many powerful emotions.  But more than anything, I think I would have felt really inconvenienced.  She must have thrown that bus way off schedule.";
blogs[21] = new Array(2);
blogs[21][0] = "10.20.2005";
blogs[21][1] = "I guess the hot new thing is evacuation.  If it's cloudy, we evacuate.  If a dog barks, we evacuate.  I just had a bad mocha and I'm thinking of evacuating.  But that's another story entirely.";
blogs[20] = new Array(2);
blogs[20][0] = "10.9.2005";
blogs[20][1] = "I love hotels.  If I'm staying in a hotel, it means something good must be happening.<br><br>I hate neckties.  If I'm wearing a tie, it means something bad must be happening.<br><br>If I'm wearing a tie and staying in a hotel, it's probably a mixed bag.";
blogs[19] = new Array(2);
blogs[19][0] = "10.8.2005";
blogs[19][1] = "Too many actors from <i>Six Feet Under</i> were also in the movie <i>Can't Hardly Wait.</i>  This can't be a coincidence.";
blogs[18] = new Array(2);
blogs[18][0] = "9.28.2005";
blogs[18][1] = "Get your tix to the Boston Katrina Benefit Concert!<br><br><a href=\"http://www.bostonkatrinaconcert.com\" target=\"_new\">bostonkatrinaconcert.com</a><br>";
blogs[17] = new Array(2);
blogs[17][0] = "9.10.2005";
blogs[17][1] = "A good movie, aside from all that <i>constant</i> gardening...";
blogs[16] = new Array(2);
blogs[16][0] = "9.1.2005";
blogs[16][1] = "How many colossal bunglings is it going to take before we can impeach this guy?  I mean, seriously.  I'm not blaming him for the hurricane... but I'm close.";
blogs[15] = new Array(2);
blogs[15][0] = "8.28.2005";
blogs[15][1] = "Good luck, New Orleans.<br>You don't deserve it.";
blogs[14] = new Array(2);
blogs[14][0] = "8.24.2005";
blogs[14][1] = "There are only five moviestars in China:  Michelle Yeoh, Maggie Cheung, Jet Li, Zhang Ziyi, and Chow Yun Fat.  That's it.  1 billion people, 5 moviestars.  That's communism, folks.";
blogs[13] = new Array(2);
blogs[13][0] = "8.23.2005";
blogs[13][1] = "Hilary Duff has a <a href=\"http://www.elitestv.com/pub/2005/Aug/EEN430610dd13883.html\" target=\"_new\">greatest hits</a> album?  What?  Does everyone?  Do I?";
blogs[12] = new Array(2);
blogs[12][0] = "8.22.2005";
blogs[12][1] = "I've found that any letter from a credit card company with the words \"<b>Do Not Discard</b>\" on it should immediately be discarded.  Similarly, any letter marked \"<b>Urgent</b>\" is invariably not at all urgent, and \"<b>Important Documents Enclosed</b>\" really means \"We Turned a Beautiful Tree Into These Low-APR Checks Which You Should Immediately Recycle.\"";
blogs[11] = new Array(2);
blogs[11][0] = "8.19.2005";
blogs[11][1] = "I wish they'd find another way to transport the <a href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/08/21/discovery/index.html\" target=\"_new\">space shuttle</a> across the country.  Piggyback on a 747 -- that stuff just don't look right.";
blogs[10] = new Array(2);
blogs[10][0] = "8.18.2005";
blogs[10][1] = "Sometimes I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  But when I get there, it turns out it's just another, longer, better-lit tunnel.  And it's leaking.";
blogs[9] = new Array(2);
blogs[9][0] = "8.17.2005";
blogs[9][1] = "I totally support <a href=\"http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/08/16/politics/main780687.shtml\" target=\"_new\">Cindy Sheehan</a>.  I think what she's doing is brave and inspirational.  I just wish she'd put on a little make-up or something.  She kinda looks like a dude.";
blogs[8] = new Array(2);
blogs[8][0] = "8.9.2005";
blogs[8][1] = "George Bush advocates something called \"<a href=\"http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4136690.stm\" target=\"_new\">Intelligent Design</a>.\"  Which is kind of like Stevie Wonder advocating photography.";
blogs[7] = new Array(2);
blogs[7][0] = "8.7.2005";
blogs[7][1] = "I like to eat chipotle, but I don't like to say it.";
blogs[6] = new Array(2);
blogs[6][0] = "8.5.2005";
blogs[6][1] = "I just watched the film <a href=\"http://www.sonypictures.com/classics/spanishprisoner\" target=\"_new\"><i>The Spanish Prisoner</i></a>.  This film has absolutely nothing to do with a Spanish prisoner.  I feel cheated.  It's like giving a movie a sexy title like <a href=\"http://www.paramountvantage.com/madhot\" target=\"_new\"><i>Mad Hot Ballroom</i></a>, when it's really about a bunch of ugly public school kids.  Sorry, but if I wanted to see that, I'd take public transportation.";
blogs[5] = new Array(2);
blogs[5][0] = "8.3.2005";
blogs[5][1] = "In my <a href=\"http://www.greenwichct.org\" target=\"_new\">hometown</a>, on one block, there are two stores with the word \"papery\" in their names.  But good luck trying to find someplace to buy a vacuum or a rake.";
blogs[4] = new Array(2);
blogs[4][0] = "8.2.2005";
blogs[4][1] = "NOAA says there will be <a href=\"http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2005/s2484.htm\" target=\"_new\">18 to 21 hurricanes</a> this season.<br><br>What is the purpose of these predictions?  Are they telling us to buy 3 flashlights instead of 2?  Should we start sand-bagging now?  No, these predictions are pointless.  Stop scaring us, NOAA.  Your mustaches are scary enough!";
blogs[3] = new Array(2);
blogs[3][0] = "8.1.2005";
blogs[3][1] = "I like to tell myself that the Starbucks <a href=\"http://www.starbucks.com/retail/nutrition_beverage_detail.asp?selProducts=%7B74308927%2DF3F8%2D491E%2D85EF%2D3E0EF12A8B6C%7D\" target=\"_new\">green tea frappuccino</a> is good for my prostate.  Because otherwise, I'm pretty sure Starbucks is giving me cancer.";
blogs[2] = new Array(2);
blogs[2][0] = "7.31.2005";
blogs[2][1] = "I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak, I hate amtrak.";
blogs[1] = new Array(2);
blogs[1][0] = "7.30.2005";
blogs[1][1] = "I think Lance Armstrong and I have a lot in common.  The main difference is that he's a really really great athlete who dates Sheryl Crow, whereas I have two testicles.";